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Dear Human,
We are writing on behalf of our client, Your Dog, regarding your unfulfilled obligation to subscribe them to BarkBox. We attempted to contact you twice via email earlier this week to inform you that Your Dog's first month of toys and treats is only $5.
To date, you have denied our client's request for BarkBox, even though they are, by any legal definition, a "very good dog." Your Dog feels betrayed - the way you feel when you bring one poop bag on the walk but then Your Dog poops twice and it's like, wait, what do I do now, and it's a whole thing. The lack of BarkBox in Your Dog's life is threatening to become "a whole thing."
Pursuant to the age-old contract between Dogs and Humans, it is the Human's duty to "spoil the Dog, including but not limited to providing toys, treats, compliments, and the majority of the bed on a consistent basis." Our client informs us that they have also been subjected to fake ball throws, trips to the vet, and pills hidden in cheese.
However, Your Dog did share that you are an incredibly loving and caring Human, one who has simply defaulted on their responsibility regarding the regular supply of toys and treats. As such, Your Dog is entitled to compensation in the form of monthly BarkBox goodies, which we can offer for just $5.
We are available to discuss further. Alternatively, you can rectify this issue immediately by clicking here to secure Your Dog's first box for only $5.
Sincerely yours,
BARK LAW
120 Broadway Fl 12
New York, NY 10271
1-800-BARK-LAW
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Offer expires 8/27/2024 at 11:59PM EST.
The $5 First Box offer is available while supplies last and is applicable to 6- or 12- month plans only for new subscriptions.
Discount applies to the cost of the first box only, no additional add-ons.
Other conditions may apply. All charges are in USD. Products shown in above image may or may not be included in your BarkBox.
If you have any questions, contact us. Please do not reply to this email.
Your purchase is subject to the BarkBox:
Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.
©BarkBox, Inc. All rights reserved.
120 Broadway, 12th Floor
New York, NY 10271
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