AI can write you a decent cover letter, sure. Turns out it doesn't understand menswear one bit |
Let's get one thing straight: I do not have high hopes for AI and the future of our kind. We are feeding an unknown beast, with masters harbouring unknown motives. Not just the odd meal, either; this writhing mass of code is being pumped full of expensive junk like a goose in mid-November. I saw one woman standing in front of the London Bridge station departure board recently. She was asking ChatGPT when her train was due. My good colleague Rebecca Dolan even spoke to guys who are using it to run their dating lives. So I decided to ask it a dumb question too: what should I wear as an average-sized 35-year-old man?
Immediately, I was served photos of men with quiffs, tight-fitting denim jackets and big millennial specs, because I guess your eyesight perishes at 35? Its advice was to wear "classic pieces that don't age you, easy to mix, and comfortable" which apparently means slimfit jeans, tan chinos and white minimalist sneakers; the offensively inoffensive stuff seen on the romantic leads in a Hallmark Christmas movies. I couldn't blame the beast too much, though; it had little information.
So I got more specific. What if I was single? I'm slightly taller than average, and my shoulders are a bit bigger. How do I look really hot with what I wear? And wait, does it matter that I'm bald? This is when ChatGPT warmed up, stretching its virtual limbs as if we were about to have a press-up contest in All Bar One.
"Hell yeah, it matters you're bald, bro - in a good way! Make sure you keep everything shaven and tidy, and you'll give off a super masculine energy."
In just a few prompts, ChatGPT had gone from generic fitting room attendant to coked up Las Vegas stylist. The fits followed suit. "Think clean, deliberate, slightly intimidating (in a good way)" it said, which meant dark fitted jeans, a leather jacket and a heavyweight knit for "quiet confidence." I decided to do some real method acting: should I wear sunglasses? Yes, but only if I take them off when I greet her (ChatGPT didn't even consider that I might want to date a man). All the resulting outfits were some weird amalgamation of action hero circa 2009, an off-duty police officer and... Andrew Tate?
At a time when we look to supercomputers for super helpful advice, ChatGPT doesn't seem to understand one crucial thing: the idea of good style is inherently personal, a thing of self-expression where risk-taking is often rewarding (or formative). ChatGPT didn't even mention those things. It told me to avoid baggy clothes at all costs, despite the fact I wear massive Carhartt work pants almost every single day and people say they like them. It told me to avoid loud patterns, despite the fact some guys look great in the antique prints of brands like Bode or Missoni. It told me to avoid running style shoes, despite the fact that Loewe and New Balance sell hundreds of thousands of these very sneakers to men who pair them with beater denim and white T-shirts.
What also worried me was its use of words like "danger", being "intimidating" and "effortless masculinity". Most women in my life aren't in the business of dating for danger or intimidation. Another question mark hovers over ChatGPT's preferred method of learning. Has it always recommended that guys dress with menace? Or is it being pumped full of confused pleas from guys looking to the wrong people for style?
All I know is, you can feed the beast all you like. But when it recommends a biker jacket with a silver chain, I know it can't learn taste.
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"Mizuno is popping off this year, and it's thanks to sneakers like the upcoming Wave Prophecy Morelia Neo 'Silver'. While everyone else is either chasing wafer-thin retro flats or releasing genuinely scary sneakers, the Wave Prophecy Morelia Neo sits somewhere in between. It's chunky, but streamlined." - Adam Cheung, style writer |
"Mizuno is popping off this year, and it's thanks to sneakers like the upcoming Wave Prophecy Morelia Neo 'Silver'. While everyone else is either chasing wafer-thin retro flats or releasing genuinely scary sneakers, the Wave Prophecy Morelia Neo sits somewhere in between. It's chunky, but streamlined." - Adam Cheung, style writer |
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"Bad Bunny wore Schiaparelli to the Grammys. The French maison doesn't really do menswear; it's usually surrealist, sculptural womenswear. No, listen, it's ska-puh-relli, not shap-a-relli." |
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"Bad Bunny wore Schiaparelli to the Grammys. The French maison doesn't really do menswear; it's usually surrealist, sculptural womenswear. No, listen, it's ska-puh-relli, not shap-a-relli." |
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Office-sourced hits from GQ HQ |
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