A new job won't keep your man away from Hot Wash. This week, Murray Clark is back on the tools to talk dirty about menswear, and how it's moved a step beyond '00s stag-do slogans |
It was 42 degrees in Paris, and I had grown hysterical. A full 40,000 steps had been clocked; 600 fashion shows had been watched; my heart was full of love but my lungs were fuller still with Camel Bleu. I'd grabbed a shawarma with two colleagues - Eileen Cartter, grand style empress of US GQ, and Max Berlinger, senior fashion news editor of US Vogue. "Have you seen this? I can't," said Berlinger, raising his iPhone to show me a T-shirt on the chest of a Zohran Mamdani loyalist. The New York mayor had just rolled out a successful road regeneration scheme, and to celebrate, a slogan had been pulled taut over inflated pecs: the words "100,000 Holes Filled". Cartter giggled. Berlinger snorted. A puritanical British drawl escaped my mouth, "Oh my God" the only words I could muster. |
I don't know why I was particularly shocked. All summer - no, all year - I've witnessed a groundswell of T-shirts that are really quite dirty. At a Dazed event, a guy chugged a bottle of water in a "You suck! Do you swallow?" vest. At a friend-of-a-friend's birthday, "Break my hole, not my heart". "Serve cunt, smoke blunt"'. "Stupid slut", very direct! And, of course, a classic down in Clapham: "Save a horse, ride a cowboy". It's a wearable admission that yes, you do bang, and yes, you want everyone to know about it.
Sure, it's not a recent phenomenon. Labels like Vivienne Westwood and Jean Paul Gaultier have long leaned into the suggestive with T-shirts. But it's never been this explicit. Nor has it been at this scale. OGBFF, an LA outfit that riffs on the Y2K/MTV golden age, is responsible for those "Tits for brains" tees, while Yard666sale goes even further, chopping up lame Facebook mum T-shirts into something far too mad for me to even type, lest I get frogmarched to HR for a summary execution. Personally, I find it all a bit funny, in the same way a teenager might snicker at a sex scene. More than that, though, I find it fascinating.
At a time when our personal privacy is just another sellable asset for big tech, personal mystique is out the window. Lean in! Let the world know that you are indeed a stupid slut. They'll find out anyway, right? And these kinds of T-shirts are largely (but not exclusively) worn by queer people and the allies that love them. Go to any London rave, and there's a sea of subtle and not-so-subtle slogans; furniture in a pro-Feeld age in which we're free to enjoy sex, and to discuss it, and to make dumb jokes about it - and we can even wear it.
For me, though? There's a rule. The best dirty T-shirts aren't about other peoples' bodies. "FBI: Female Body Inspector" ain't really flying at the airport (or anywhere else for that matter) in 2026. "I rented her" with an arrow to the right is actually just plain offensive, and she should leave you. But if you want to make an innuendo about your own sexual proclivities? Go ahead. Want to tell the world you're a hungry himbo? Tuck in. You've earned the rig for it, buddy.
Fashion's Overton window is a constantly shifting thing, progressing (or regressing) as the years go by. I've got a friend who wore a very salacious and sordid T-shirt for a lads' holiday to Greece in 2008 (again, I shan't repeat the slogan). How everyone laughed at the time. Now, he is mortified. Maybe those Mamdani supporters will feel the same way. But herein lies the main difference: at least innuendos about New York potholes are fighting the good fight. Maybe that's the best kind of X-rated T-shirt.
Big style reads of the week
In Sterling Point, Keen Ruffalo is the fuckboy king of great T-shirts
Would you wear square-toed sneakers?
Graphic tees are back with a vengeance
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"For almost 50 years, nobody really messed with the German Army Trainer. Then, seemingly all at once, designers went absolutely feral. There are GAT mules. GAT ballet flats. GAT snoafers. There's even one with a tabi toe. After half a century standing still, menswear's most untouchable sneaker is finally getting weird - and we're pretty excited." -Adam Cheung, style writer |
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"Copenhagen Fashion Week is usually for the girls - but still, there are menswear bright spots for those with eyes to see. Mfpen continues its reign of sleepy '90s suits, and Henrik Vibskov chimes in with oversized proportions and very good knitwear." -Mahalia Chang,
senior style editor |
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"Copenhagen Fashion Week is usually for the girls - but still, there are menswear bright spots for those with eyes to see. Mfpen continues its reign of sleepy '90s suits, and Henrik Vibskov chimes in with oversized proportions and very good knitwear." -Mahalia Chang,
senior style editor |
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Office-sourced hits from GQ HQ |
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