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Hi there, I'd like to apologize for the very personal email you may have received yesterday. It was accidentally sent from Derek Trippe, our Director of Toy Design. To rectify this, we'd like to offer a free upgrade on your first box of toys and treats*. Derek intended to send the email to his mother, Barbara. Unfortunately, when he typed the letters "bar" into the recipient field, it autofilled to "BARK", which sends to our list-serve. Derek did not realize the mistake and the email was subsequently sent to many of you. The email highlighted actual customer reviews from one of our more controversial creations, Derek's Andrea Alpaca toy. 
I called Derek after the email was sent. I believe he intended no ill will, in his toy design or in his accidental blast. To be honest, I can personally empathize with Derek's need for acknowledgement from his mom, particularly the desire to be mentioned in the family Christmas card. But of course that sort of personal information is not for us to share with prospective customers! I would never send an external email detailing the strained relationship I have with my own mother. That's for me and Dr. Stein to discuss every Monday at 5pm. And we do. Every single Monday for the last 12 years. As for the toy in question - like any work of art, we invite people to bring their own interpretation to BARK toy creations. It would be wrong of me to tell a customer what they "should" see. If a customer looks at Andrea Alpaca and sees a phallus, who am I to tell them otherwise? And if they see an alpaca, that is also not wrong. As the saying goes, "The customer is always right." Even if the customer sees a, well, you know. Given the number of controversial emails BARK has recently sent - I think about our $69 scandal every day - we are reviewing our email process. While we're confident we can improve, we apologize for any inconvenience this latest one may have caused. In that spirit, we'd like to offer you a free upgrade on your first month*. I hope we can one day welcome you and your dog to BARK. But as Dr. Stein always reminds me, "We cannot control others, we can only control ourselves, Sharon." All the best, Sharon Milberg-Jones Head of HR, BARK *I cannot guarantee that Derek did not design some of the toys in your first box, but I can guarantee that not all of them are phallic. 
Sharon Milberg-Jones | Head of HR 120 Broadway, 12th Floor NY, NY 10271 "We cannot control others, we can only control ourselves, Sharon." - Dr. Stein ---------- Forwarded message --------- From: Derek from BARK Date: Wed, Oct 2, 2024 at 8:18 AM Subject: Mom... Everyone is obsessed with this toy. Please tell Dad!️ To: Sharon Milberg-Jones Mom, STOP THE PRESSES! Looks like you have something to write about me in the family Christmas card for once. Your boy is a STAR!! Everyone is talking about my latest toy design!
Here's just a few of the REAL reviews from customers: "Looked a whole lot like a penis. My dog enjoyed chewing it. "We hope to not see this again." "A lump of plastic that looks like a penis, not exactly a fun and engaging toy." I hope you are finally as proud of me as these customers are. Isn't life funny? I've been making my art for years now and it finally feels like I'm getting some recognition for it. This must have been what Vincent van Gogh felt like when his paintings sold long after he was dead. I too feared I had experienced a death. The death of my creativity. Then Andrea came into my life. Andrea Alpaca is my Starry Night. Oh wow! I have to go. I just missed a call from HR. I think I'm being promoted!!!! Your Big Boy, Derek Trippe Director of Toy Design, BARK |
